JOKES

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by tomo9992, Jun 16, 2007.

  1. Jamie

    Jamie Active Member

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    sam rox i heard that in college, fucking jokes LOL
     
  2. gregzzz

    gregzzz New Member

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    :rules:
     
  3. FirE

    FirE New Member

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    me all ready tell him my yout
     
  4. Remi

    Remi New Member

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    this your bitch FirE ?
     
  5. FirE

    FirE New Member

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    yeah him and bait :mrgreen: :p

    (hmm :think: we need a gimp smilie )
     
  6. gregzzz

    gregzzz New Member

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    bait has 2 brain cells, and even one is on the brink, how he got into uni i don't know (he's the toilet cleaner :blush: ;) :lol:)
     
  7. bait

    bait Active Member

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    dont watch my flex :grin: lol
     
  8. gregzzz

    gregzzz New Member

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    Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
    He awoke before the Pearly Gates where St.Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph."
    Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"
    St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."
    Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

    A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?"
    "Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"
    "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."
    "Never," said Ralph.
    "Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal."
    Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
    Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

    As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting in the bed!"
     
  9. FirE

    FirE New Member

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    greg what's that fat white comedians name that you put up?
     
  10. m1ck_t

    m1ck_t Moderator Staff Member

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    alot of shit
    greg is g g g g g gone :wave:
     
  11. Runner-Joe

    Runner-Joe New Member

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    minnor kicked him due to gregg suposingly talking poo in each post ? dunno lol
    it was abit harsh tbh greggs a good kid and well funny lol
     
  12. Rick-UK

    Rick-UK New Member

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    Be careful if you go out tonight. Driving conditions are awful and I've just come off the road, hit a Muslim!
    It took me 10 minutes, 2 fields and a golf course but I got the fucker.


    :eek: Just forwarding a txt msg...
     
  13. Runner-Joe

    Runner-Joe New Member

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    :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
     
  14. gregzzz

    gregzzz New Member

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    ralphie may

    (ps. i love you)
     
  15. gregzzz

    gregzzz New Member

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    Midgets; What they lack in body, they make up in forehead.

    All this talk about Christmas number ones got me thinking...what was number one last Christmas?

    And then I remembered: Jade Goody's haircut.

    The missus just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.

    She hit the roof.

    A lion would never cheat on his wife...

    But a tiger wood...

    The ginger woman at my work recently announced that she is pregnant by her black boyfriend. She was discussing possible baby names the other day, apparently "Terry The Chocolate Orange" is not tolerated and is enough to get you fired.

    Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.
     
  16. bean-nrg125

    bean-nrg125 New Member

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    girl walksin on her boyfriend blowdrying his cock " what the fuck are you doing???" she asks
    he replies "warming your dinner you ungrateful cow!!"
     
  17. bean-nrg125

    bean-nrg125 New Member

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    IMPORTANT ANNOUNCMENT!!!
    does your girlfriend or wife have any unwanted gold jewellery?? rinngs earings bracelets?........
    .....................if so give her a fucking slap the ungrateful bitch!!
     
  18. bean-nrg125

    bean-nrg125 New Member

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    fill the blanks:
    1.BOO_S?

    2._ _NDOM?

    3.F_ _K?

    4. P_N_S?

    5.PU_S_?





    ANS:
    1.BOOKS
    2.RANDOM
    3.FORK
    4.PANTS
    5.PULSE
    MAY GOD BLESS YOU WITH A CLEAN MIND IN 2010 :)
     
  19. bean-nrg125

    bean-nrg125 New Member

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    LET'S TEST THE WAY YOU THINK. READ THIS::
    thepenisinmymouth.did you read 'the pen is in my mouth?
    no u bloody never you liar!!!
     
  20. connor

    connor Active Member

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    2,690
    roomer has it that katie price an alex split up because when katie was makein a roast dinner she asked alex to toss the veg, she then turnt around to see alex givin harvey an hand job.
     

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