bait has 2 brain cells, and even one is on the brink, how he got into uni i don't know (he's the toilet cleaner :blush: :lol
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates where St.Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph." Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!" "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before." "Never," said Ralph. "Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal." Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting in the bed!"
minnor kicked him due to gregg suposingly talking poo in each post ? dunno lol it was abit harsh tbh greggs a good kid and well funny lol
Be careful if you go out tonight. Driving conditions are awful and I've just come off the road, hit a Muslim! It took me 10 minutes, 2 fields and a golf course but I got the fucker. Just forwarding a txt msg...
Midgets; What they lack in body, they make up in forehead. All this talk about Christmas number ones got me thinking...what was number one last Christmas? And then I remembered: Jade Goody's haircut. The missus just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof. A lion would never cheat on his wife... But a tiger wood... The ginger woman at my work recently announced that she is pregnant by her black boyfriend. She was discussing possible baby names the other day, apparently "Terry The Chocolate Orange" is not tolerated and is enough to get you fired. Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.
girl walksin on her boyfriend blowdrying his cock " what the fuck are you doing???" she asks he replies "warming your dinner you ungrateful cow!!"
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCMENT!!! does your girlfriend or wife have any unwanted gold jewellery?? rinngs earings bracelets?........ .....................if so give her a fucking slap the ungrateful bitch!!
fill the blanks: 1.BOO_S? 2._ _NDOM? 3.F_ _K? 4. P_N_S? 5.PU_S_? ANS: 1.BOOKS 2.RANDOM 3.FORK 4.PANTS 5.PULSE MAY GOD BLESS YOU WITH A CLEAN MIND IN 2010
LET'S TEST THE WAY YOU THINK. READ THIS:: thepenisinmymouth.did you read 'the pen is in my mouth? no u bloody never you liar!!!
roomer has it that katie price an alex split up because when katie was makein a roast dinner she asked alex to toss the veg, she then turnt around to see alex givin harvey an hand job.